Holiday · Why I'm a Ridiculous Person

5 MORE Christmas Gifts You Definitely Never Thought Of

Christmas present.jpeg

It’s time for my annual Christmas gift suggestion post!

Last year’s post “5 Christmas Gifts You Definitely Never Thought Of” was incredibly popular; more than one person commented that as a result they would be purchasing a nail gun for their significant other. Success!

With that in mind, I have racked my brain for brilliant new ideas and have come up with the following five stunners.

Take a look!

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First Idea: Better kitchen knives

knife
This is too many knives, but you get the idea.

Let’s face it, most of the knives we use in our everyday life are crap. They’re dull, they’re warped, and we keep them in a kitchen drawer because we don’t have anywhere else to put them. So what better to give than this sharp gift?

Before giving this gift, you must first check if the recipient has dull knives. To do so, go into their kitchen and cut something. Anything. A pear, a bit of cheese, your finger, whatever. Did it take any pressure at all? Do you honestly think that if you dropped a hair on the blade of that knife the result would be said hair cleaving in two? No?

Great! They need a new knife.

Now, don’t go crazy and get them a set of fifty. Most people use two knives and two knives only: paring knives, and a slightly bigger one for cutting meat. Buy one of each and voila, Christmas is ready.

Second Idea: Something in a Pretty Box

box.jpg
See how useful it is??

This one may seem a bit off the beaten track, but let me assure you, it will be treasured. How do I know?

Years ago, someone gave me…something. I don’t remember what. Could have been a necklace, could have been earrings. Whatever. At any rate, they gave it to me in a pretty little purple box covered in gold foil stars.

I adore this box. It has alternately been used to store hair clips, to store jewelry, and as a classroom prop. It’s great. And it’s not alone.

Years ago, a kind woman made me a little origami box. It stores my washing machine quarters. Just a couple weeks ago in a discount store, I came across a pretty bamboo box with little compartments inside. The box held tea, but I didn’t care; I wanted the box to hold…something. No idea what yet. I adored it.

And so will the people in your life. Get them a sturdy, well-crafted, pretty box with a secure lid. Stuff it with who cares what—it’s the box they will remember.

Third Idea: A Week of Convenient Meals

boxed meal.jpg
They don’t really look like that when you cook them, but they do tend to be darn tasty.

Have you heard about those meal services that are springing up seemingly everywhere? Blue Apron, Hello Fresh; there’s tons of them. They deliver two or three meal’s worth of ingredients to your front door for you to prepare that week at your leisure from the provided recipes. How about giving one of those boxes to someone on your list?

This is, above all, a gift of convenience for both of you. All you have to do is go online and send them an email after giving out much credit card information. All they have to do is click what meals they want, and then get the box after it’s delivered, put the food away, cook the food, clean up after it, and consume the leftovers even if it turns out they’re kind of yucky.

Oh, and avoid the kale. These services do seem to love their kale, which is a pity, because kale is disgusting.

There are vegetarian and kid-friendly options, and it’s just a couple clicks away. How excellent is that?

Fourth Idea: Frame Something

frame.jpg
Okay, this picture’s sort of weird, but I had a theme going and I didn’t want to ruin it now.

Not someone—something.

Everyone I know, young or old, has that one picture they haven’t gotten around to framing yet. So instead of giving them some hideously pithy frame and making them do it themselves, go and get it done for them and give them the picture all trussed up on Christmas morning.

Now, this I admit is a tricky one, meant for those of you with taste, or who know someone with taste. You will also need to steal this picture/print/thing that is to be framed. I suggest two ways of doing this. One: recruit someone willing to help you, if this item is not in your house. A relative of the person is a good idea. They can smuggle it to you. Two: hire a professional to get in and get out with a minimum of fuss. This is the more expensive way, but much easier. I’ll assume you know how to go about hiring these sort of characters.

The second part of what makes this operation tricky is that the person must like the framing you choose for their picture. To ensure this, prior to stealing the picture, I suggest going around their house and taking a couple photos of their other wall art, as well as the room the picture will be displayed in. Show those to the framer if you need help choosing a look.

Hint: if your friend is Japanese, black frames are only for dead people. Just something to keep in mind.

And now, for our finale…

Fifth and Final Idea: Tannerite

tannerite
My stock photo site didn’t have a picture of this, weirdly.

This is perhaps my favorite on this list, and those of you who are familiar with Tannerite will know why. After all, who doesn’t want to give a gift with a bang?

Literally!

Tannerite is an explosive substance. I’m a bit hazy on the details of what it’s made of, but it consists of two parts: the black grains and the white grains. To make them explode, mix them together, go very far away, and fire a shot. Instant fun!

This is a very diverse gift. For example, you could put a pile of glow sticks on top of the Tannerite and shoot it at night for a beautiful firework effect. Or you could place the substance on top of a pile of gravel before shooting to learn why not to do that ever again.

I will warn you, this gift is not for the kids, even those who have previously handled small explosives, but if you give it to Mom and Dad it can be fun for the whole family.

Sure, it doesn’t last, but who needs more stuff? Tannerite is both consumable and an experience you’ll remember for years to come.

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So, what do you think? Did you find a great idea, or still searching for something?

For five more original holiday gift ideas, check out last year’s post–none of its suggestions have gone out of style!

5 Christmas Ideas You Definitely Never Thought Of

If you’re buying one of these items, let us know below!

Or if none of those tickles your fancy, how about a paperback? I know just the titles! Perfect for the Walking Dead fan in your family, because that’s how readers describe them as–minus the zombies.

  

Hey, worth a try.

The book links are affiliate links. They support me and the running of this website. If you like this website and silly articles like this, please buy my books.

All photos in this post are under public domain, except the one of Tannerite, which is borrowed from the Tannerite website, because no, there really are no stock photos of it.


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I’m S. Hunter Nisbet, writer of post-apocalyptic dystopian novels of the dark and gritty type that might be just the thing your thrill-loving relatives are looking for. I’m also a blogger, Twitter-user, and newly-minted drinker of tomato juice. Who knew what I was missing all these years? In any given fantasy scenario, I’d be the bard.

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